she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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