Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Randomize
