I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
