I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
