Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
well you can't waste a boner
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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