i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
