exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
