Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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