By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
