Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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