Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
