loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
