I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I currently don't understand fingers.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
