We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
