We won't sleep together?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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