Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize