and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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