i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
