just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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