Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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