my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
