Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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