Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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