You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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