I need help removing her.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
