Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You were trust falling into bushes
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
