I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Found the puke drawer
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
