my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I need moral support for this bender
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
