I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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