She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
