Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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