OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
