Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
