Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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