yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
