Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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