Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
