my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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