wakey wakey hands off snakey
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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