If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
What a dumb baby whore.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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