So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
