Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
