dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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