Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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