I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
