Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
