I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
