Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
