Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
