Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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