Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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