i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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