we're blogging at a bar
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
