Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
