im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize