We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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