Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
