Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
