in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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