I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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