i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
