found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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